I’ve signed a two months contract to an urban slum improvement program, here in Banda Aceh. When a very good friend offered me the job, i thought i’d give it a try. Maybe it’s a good time to become a worker again. Also, this should be good for my record if I want to pursue a phd. Is it??
No… it’s not!!
I am exhausted. I have to spend days at the office, and at the field too of course (since this is a participatory planning), from 9 to 5. Oh btw, to 5 is just the official hour. I often head back home at 6 or approaching maghrib. This might sound familiar to any workers in the world. I know i should not be whining much, but I can not help to say that I miss my former status as an individual freelance urban planning consultant.. in which I had the freedom to manage my own time, to work from home, to meet people and present ideas, to still have time playing with K. Not to mention the salary… with all the privilege of working from home, the payment is better than what I am receiving now.
Oh well, it’s actually very okay if I am busy doing my stuff. The thing is, often, I am helping someone else’s work just because their deadline is earlier than my responsibilities. Well, yes it is a team work. But how about my deadline? I know the team will help me too eventually when I am in need, but isn’t it more effective if everyone keep their job on track and save their own deadlines?
I don’t see a good working environment in here, unfortunately.
Anyway, those are just reasons. The most important deal is Karim. He needs me the most, not work, not this city, not those beneficiaries of the project. Since I’ve been working, hubby has always been the one who picked him up from school. They got to spend time together in the afternoon while I am still at work :'(. At home, I feed him dinner, play a little, then both of us are ready to sleep by 8.30pm. Yes.. i sleep when K sleeps. Because I am tired already. A lot of time, K is cranky for no reason. He’s not usually like this… and I know the change of behaviour is due to my lack of attention towards him. I feel like our quality time together is very limited due to my current activity… not only as a mom but also as a wife. Oh, don’t forget we are working on Saturday too… krikkrik… this is just not healthy for me. This does not work well for me :'(.
So.. i am more than certain of what I am gonna do. I will not extend my contract, insha Allah. It’s okay Ichi… you know why you should not be a full time worker.